You go try it. 
Tell us how it goes! Youâll be in for some fun!
First of all, nobody under the 9th degree really matters in FreemĐ°sonry - 9° is where youâll take the oath to kill for âThe Orderâ, at least if youâre in a ScottŃsh RŃte lodge - but you will have to pay your MĐ°sonic dues every month anyway until that, as thatâs what they keep the motley collection of ignorant zeebs under the ninth degree around for.
After reaching 9°, youâll have to undertake missions spying on and murdering the enemies of the MĐ°sons to continue proceeding and gaining degrees. And to reach 33° - the Illuminati themselves, the âmade menâ of their mafia - well, details are sparse, but I do believe youâll be required to join the Red Shoe Club.
That is, of course, where you personally kill and eat a human child as the childâs skin is harvested to make you a truly snazzy pair of patent-leather red shoes that mark you as a Cool lIIuminati Dudeâ˘, dripping in ill-gotten wealth and exempt from conventional prosecution.
(Pictured: Media demagogue, ardent Zionist, and all-around loathsome multimillionaire-hypocrite Bill Maher, who has also spent the last fifteen years scrubbing the records of his own sexual harassment and intimidation of his ex-girlfriend from the media - but really, that pales in comparison to what the shoes represent, doesnât it?)
Does that sound like fun to you?
You already fantasize about seeing 99.9% of the world dead. You just might be the perfect vehicle to infiltrate the MĐ°sons - I tried to do it myself a decade ago, but I didnât get very far. Turns out I didnât have the requisite depths of depravity to routinely hang out with vile bigots and murderers - my mental health went to Hell in short order, and I was quite literally risking losing everything in my life.
So I stopped before I learned much more than I tell you all every day here - but I bet you could do it, âRipcordâ. They love fake Christians who hate the world and want lots of people dead - just look at the Bushes. You truly might have found your calling in this life of ours!